One thing I am learning is that you cannot force yourself to write.
I think I am addicted to the feeling of accomplishment and pride I get when I can press ‘publish’ on a blog post. I feel a rush of productivity through my veins and a sense that I am at least capable of something. Blogging gives me a focus and an outlet to scream into the void all of the things that I am too scared to tell people in real life. Writing gives me a release as I can vomit out all of my feelings into a post and then try to move on with my day.
However, I have realised that I cannot force myself to write a blog post just so that I can get those feelings. Well, I can but the post will be crap because I am not writing it after feeling compelled to do so after an experience or encountering a certain feeling. Instead, I am writing out of desperation. Posts that I save in my drafts and write when I am not feeling moved by anything do not even sound like me. I sound forced and strained as I pile pressure on myself to produce something so that I can feel productive and good about myself.
I want to make a resolution to not punish myself on those days when words will only trip and fall clumsily from my brain to my fingertips and the letters pressed on the keyboard do not make sense. Creating anything from your own brain is an achievement because you are the only person who could ever write exactly what you have written; your creativity is unique. Therefore, treat it kindly. Do not batter it into submission and berate it when ideas do not easily flow through you and excite your heart as you are writing. Instead, nurture your creativity and chalk each day down to experience. If you hate what you write one day, at least you can learn from it and remember to tell yourself that you have still produced something that is entirely you.